Steps to make a morning flight from KL to Singapore more challenging.

– Drink heavily the night before, get pissed and talk nonsense PASSIONATELY while standing over everyone in an authoritative manner.

– Wake up after only 4 hours sleep, still in clothes from the night before, aware that something has died in mouth. Have a little spew. Pack bag with undies and passport. Then just before running out the door remember important articles like clothing, phone and wallet.

– Fight off intense nausea in the 60 minute car ride to the airport. Have plastic bag ready incase an uncontrollable urge of regurgitation occurs.

– Continue to fight off intense nausea waiting in the 30 minute Tiger Airways flight check-in queue. Deep lemaze breathing in-between loud periodic sighs whilst wishing for death helps pass the time.

– Quickly shovel down a lasagna (cheesy hang-over food) in an attempt to curb reflux during flight.

– Run into duty-free shop to grab a bottle of Bombay sapphire and Smirnoff Vodka. Argue with duty free sales agent over why it’s prohibited to sell alcohol and ciggies to people flying from Malaysia into Singapore. (Fail).

– Pass out cold for 1 hour flight. Try not to let the electric eel like nerve twitches freak out the person sitting next to me.

– Land in Singapore determined to buy duty-free alcohol. Confidently walk into Singaporean duty-free shop and ask for Gin and Vodka, whip out Aussie passport and say that I have ‘just arrived from OZ’. Cashier then asks for boarding pass. EPIC FAIL. Walk away.

– See friends waiting in the arrival hall and, in sheer excitement, bypass customs. Get yelled at by customs agent. Bag is scrutinised extra long in the customs scanner. Pray to god that there’s nothing in bag. Bag is cleared. WIN!

Finally exit the airport into the arms of my good friends Ms J, Mr T, and Little Lil 🙂