The one with the monkey – Family Road Trip

A family road trip was in order and the destination was Pangkor Island, a laid back underdeveloped beachy paradise where we could escape from the men in our family (no offense!) and have some quality girl time. The women in attendance being my grandmother (Popo), my aunty Lily, my cousin Liyana, cousin Sheba and her daughter Tia.

After a kayaking and snorkeling adventure with Liyana, I was happy to collapse onto the sand, on our beach towels which lay under the shade of a large leafy tree, and doze off while everyone else played in the water

I wake to the sensation of someone caressing my head, and thinking it must be Liyana playing with my hair, I lie there peacefully … until I see Liyana still swimming in the water!

Surprised, I spin around and come face to face with a monkey!

T – ‘Aaaaaargh!’

Monkey – ‘Aaaaa Aaa Aaaa!’

Our mirrored stunned expressions were inches apart, and the monkey had one hand in my grandmothers handbag which I had been using as a pillow. Startled, the monkey snarls. I grab my grans bag and surprisingly start making my own ‘Oooh oooh oooh!‘ noises while waving a cap in its face. This beast was not intimidated by my primitive vocals or feeble wave of a flimsy hat – it had teeth and confidence.

My family comes running out of the ocean yelling at the monkey, who must have felt the vibrations and took off up the closest tree. It sat on the branch above us just out of reach.

In attack mode, the most nasty colourful filth was flying out of my 84 year-old grandmothers mouth as she cussed her bag snatcher to rot in hell (in Chinese). Being a tough old broad, she whips out an empty water bottle and hurls it in the animals direction. Somehow this results in the bottle landing way (way!) to the left of her instead of slighty ahead where the thief casually sat on its branch.

Liyana, with a scowl on her face, stomps up to the tree with a rolled-up straw mat, and in an attempt to scare the bandit away, slams it hard against the trunk.

Unmoved, this cheeky monkey gave us the response that you would only dream to one day bestow upon that guy or girl you’ve always disliked – He spread his legs wide, granted us full view of his privates, then gave his balls a rebellious and satisfying scratch.

Unsure of how to retaliate without spilling blood, we decide to let the monkey have it’s day, and walked away laughing.