Tiara in Transit

Huacachina, Peru, is a desert oasis surrounded by massive sand-dunes. MASSIVE, 70 metre high, steep, enormous sand dunes, and it was here that I was going to have my first sandboarding experience.

Everyone was excited, and it WAS exciting, like the way death is exciting.

How to sandboard with a fractured right toe.

– Wait til last and hope to God that someone else falls off their board and rolls down the sand mountain, cursing, looking ridiculous, before I do.

– Encourage being in shock. This will help prevent your legs from running away from this exciting experience.

– Don’t stand. Lie down on the board and listen to the instructions with intense concentration – elbows in, legs spread, do not let your feet drop… too much info, just imagine its a water slide. A really really high water slide. I like water slides..

– Let out a single, loud, blood curdling scream that carries through the desert, and most likely all the way into the city, as the man pushes me off the edge.

– Feel incredible, (invincible!) as I’m flying down the almost vertical drop with the wind and sand blowing in my face, giving me a naturally surprised facelift.

– Successfully make it to the bottom without becoming a sand donut.

All smiles as the dune buggies pick us up from the bottom. I did it! With permanent eye-liner tattoo, a fractured foot, and a bright blue Priscilla scarf flying from around my neck! I am not a pussy.

Jesus, our crazy dune buggy driver looks over at us devilishly and says 2 words – ‘Level two.’

Everyone cheers.

T, smile frozen on face – ‘LEVEL TWO? ….shiiiiiit!’