Good-bye to my panda’s

In my final day, I said a tearful goodbye to my panda’s, who I had gotten really attached to in such a short time.

Mason – The young smaller panda from the San Diego zoo, who you can hear suck in air as he’s gobbling down his food, always hungry and loves to make a bed out of his bamboo while eating it. I totally relate.

Lilly – The only female panda in my enclosure who didn’t have a baby to nurse, is constantly licking her stubby tail and being told off for this habbit by Du, the friendly and informative keeper who I had developed a great admiration for.

And Shymon – The big daddy of the crew. At 17 years old, he’s earnt the right to make me wait while he gets into his sitting position and slowly places each paw on the bars, the only position that allows him to be fed. Shymon’s quirk is to rear up on his hind legs and do a pirouette exciedly when it’s feeding time. Again, I relate.

It was a privilage to get to know these very special creatures.

How to accept free food and learn from those around you – Final night at the Panda Base.

I was having dinner with Anton who had become my newly appointed best buddy at the panda base.

Usually what happens at feeding time is, I order what ever I want from the menu and pay for it because food wasn’t included in my deal(?), and Anton gets served 2 dishes, normally a meat and a veggie.

This Friday night was special. Having already received Anton’s 2 dishes, and the 2 that I had ordered, we were pleasantly surprised when a third dish of yummy beans landed on our table.

T, urgently on the hush to Anton as he started to tell the lady that this wasn’t ours – ‘Don’t ask any questions! Just smile, say thank you and start putting your chopsticks into it so they won’t take it away’

Anton, nervously as we start swishing the beans around with our chopsticks in an obvious manner – ‘ Is she still watching us?’ referring to the waitress who seemed to realise her mistake.

T – ‘No, I think she’s just tired and her eyes have rested gently on our table’

After dinner I convinced a shy Anton to come ‘hang with the younger crowd’ at the hostel bar.

Sven, a well-traveled 21-year-old from Norway – ‘I have an ant problem’

T – ‘You personally?’

1,2,3,4.. finally Sven laughs – ‘yeah, but I had a shower and it went away’

Sven is an exceptional young man, who has GREAT taste in music, and whose goal is to complete the Axis of Evil within the next 5 years – Iran, Iraq, North Korea, Cuba, Libya and Syria – all countries without diplomatic relations to the U.S.A.

What did I learn?
1) Beer Pong – A game which I think involves hitting a ping pong ball in the direction of 7 beer cups then sculling the beer in which it lands? I may have this completely wrong..

2) Tourist are not allowed to enter North Korea unless they purchase a super expensive tour package, (eg; 10,000 yuan for 5 days), and that all the tour companies are owned by the North Korean government – Which means the money goes directly into Kim ll-sung’s pocket.

3) That everybody knows what blood type they are. Besides me, I had no idea.

4) And cleaning panda poo when hung-over is good for the soul.

The Bifengxia Panda Breeding centre – where the Wolong panda’s are post earthquake.

I enthusiastically swept up large panda droppings, cleared out old bamboo from my assigned enclosures, mopped floors and fed the panda’s 4 times a day.. which took a total of 2 hours actual volunteering time at the Bifengxia Panda Breeding Centre. There were no other educational sessions and some of the volunteers were assigned to panda keepers who did not speak english so were unable to have any answers to their questions. As this was a paid volunteering program, (and it aint cheap to sweep panda poo!) I was pretty disappointed on my first day. In the in-between time, volunteers were just hanging around the base waiting for another 60 minutes to pass so they could spend 10-20 minutes, depending on how many volunteers were assigned to your enclosure, preparing panda cake, carrots and apples to feed the pandas, which happened 4 times a day.

T – ‘So why did you chose to come to China?’

Amy, a 20-year-old british volunteer assigned to my enclosure – ‘It’s just somewhere to go.’

Amy seemed to disagree with most things about China, the cuisine, the language, the weather and (dare I say) the culture.

T – ‘… but you love animals?’ Thinking we had to have something in common having both volunteered at the Panda base.

Amy, brightens – Yes! (Bingo!)

It was by great fortune that I met Anton, a biologist and researcher from the Vienna Zoo, who had been working at the Bifengxia panda base for the last 2 weeks researching the different types of vocals of the panda babies.

Anton – ‘Last night a female panda gave birth with 6 guys nearby talking loudly and smoking while she was having contractions, like the event wasn’t stressful enough for her’

Anton had access to areas of the base that only staff could enter, like the actual breeding centre which accommodated panda mothers caring for pink newborns, newly fluffy panda babies, and expecting panda mothers. He encouraged me to be his ‘associate’ and accompany him into this exclusive area where I was able to observe Anton running back and forth between maternal enclosures with all his sound gear trying to catch every baby panda’s vocal, all the time keeping me involved and informed with the different types of calls, answering all my questions, and providing a brief history of mother and baby.

From then on, I knew that every volunteer needed to have their own personal Anton to make their educational experience at the Bifengxia Panda Base well worth it.

Don’t bite me, I’m only here to help

The time had finally come for me to be with my beloved panda’s. I moved into the Panda breeding centre in Bifiengxia and got ready for my first interaction with the 1-year-old panda’s. Walking into the enclosure, I was greeted by the eight of them lazing around, eating, making mewing noises, and slapping each other on the backs. It was amazing.

I scratch a few on their heads and start giving them some bamboo to eat, lazy things were just lying there on their backs waiting for me to hand them their food. Making them even more gorgeous!!

A little guy came over to me and put his paw on my knee

T – ‘Hey fella, awww, you’re so beautiful!’

He then lifts himself up from my knee and wraps his decent size jaw around my left shoulder.


The pressure on my shoulder was so painful that it caused me to jump up with it still attached. He let go just as I’m fully upright and casually waddles off while I’m left there furiously rubbing my shoulder and calling him names. The keepers were not impressed. But one of the helpers managed to snap a photo.

My final day in Chengdu – Dumplings and tea?

On the way back from Juizhaigou, in a heated food discussion, Leon told me about these amazing volcano dumplings that I just had to try.

We meet at noon, seedy, with the perfect hangover for consuming dumplings.

T, after informing Leon of Rolands knock on my door this morning – ‘Did a couple of guys follow me out of the bar last night?’

Leon – ‘Just one’

T – ‘Really? who??’

Leon with a smile – ‘Roland’

T – ‘of course..’

Leon takes me to this small open chinese eatery and orders 24 dumplings which were just steamed dough stuffed with spicy rice, heavy but very tasty. We can only eat 6 in total, and I was impressed with Leon’s serious miscalculation of how much he thought I was going to eat.

Leon decides to accompany me to the Tea markets where I was on a quest to find this special flower blooming tea.

As we sit at the tea tasting table, the tea serving ladies are asking Leon all sorts of questions, and it wasn’t only because he could speak enough chinese to get by, but also because he was tall, blond, and easy on the eyes.

Smittened serving lady to Leon – ‘Where do you come from?’

Leon – ‘I am from Israel’ then points to me and says ‘ she is from.. how do you say Australia in Chinese again?’

T – ‘They are not interested in me’

The lady ignores me through the whole tea tasting process addressing all her questions, answers, and smiles to Leon.

Leon, the hard-edged guy from Israel, is softened by the amazing flower blooming tea and decides to get ten buds for his Mum.

Leon – ‘I hope this gets through customs’

T – ‘Just put it up your arse and you’ll be fine’

Leon – ‘I think I will’

T, to the serving lady – ‘I’ll get (counts in head) 30.’ (smugly shitting all over Leon’s 10)

Suddenly, our serving lady turns and looks at me for the first time, then smiles to me that brilliant smile that had only favoured Leon in the last 20 minutes.

It was all the encouragement I needed to walk out of there with more tea than anyone about to spend 2 months in India really needs to have.

Lesson – Money does buy happiness.

Last night in Chengdu – The interesting people you meet.

We were relaxing in Sim’s Cozy’s balcony bar, having a drink and a laugh when Leon, an Israeli guy we had met in Juizhaigou whips out his guitar and starts playing to the chatter around the table. This attracts a couple of wanderers called Roland and Laurna from Latvia.

Roland and Laurna have been traveling for 6 months throughout India, Nepal, Pakistan, Iran, Tibet, and now China as street performers. They are totally wacky, eccentric, lost marble types who had perfected being both crazy and witty, easily becoming the centre of attention in any crowd.

We start singing the usual folk songs that break out once the guitars appear. Everyone felt free, relaxed, and happy singing along to Paul Simon’s Cecilia, Bob Dylans Rolling Stone and a shuffle of Bob Marley tunes.

So it was an unexpected twist when Roland started to test the limits of humour by cracking Jewish jokes aimed at Leon.

Leon – If you’re not Jewish, don’t joke about the holocaust.

Roland and Laurna smiling – ‘Oh, we have plenty of Jew jokes, but you’re not really a Jew anyway, you were born in Russia’

Leon – Israeli’s don’t take jokes about Jews well. So I’m telling you to stop.

Roland – picks up his guitar and starts singing ‘ I’m a poor Jewish boy’

I stop breathing and brace myself for the impact.

Leon, after a tense pause with some serious eye-contact – ‘If you don’t stop, I’m going to have to take out my penis’

Relief, laughter, and the tension eases as the German guy next to me cries – ‘Oh come on man, we don’t need to see it, we already know it’s like this’ and slams down the large black phallic like percussion shaker.

More laughter, and Roland eases off on the Jewish jokes now that Leon has made fun of the situation. I realise he reminds me of ‘Borat’

We hear an American accent coming from the lounges next to us. Roland again with the Guitar starts singing enthusiastically ‘Lets take our part, in Jihad! Lets take our part, in Jihad! Obama its just karma so lets take our part, in Jihad!’

Aussie guy from the group next to us – ‘Have some respect guys’ while the muscley American man stands up and turns around to give us a threatening stare.

Roland smiles in a Guru like fashion – ‘ Wasn’t Jesus an American?’ followed with ‘Let’s sing a positive song’ and starts singing a song about being HIV Positive. Followed by a tune titled ‘ Free Sichuan!’ Then surprisingly the Tasmanian man requests a ‘Free Tasmania’ version.

All of this was ridiculously humorous as Roland pushed the limits of everyone political correctness, until comments like ‘your mothers a whore and you should just hang yourself because you’re a bum and the Dutch economy would be better off without you’ became perfectly acceptable, and you were either quick with a comebacks (in jest) or had to leave.

In the early hours of the morning, all of us had become great friends through gass-bagging, joking around, and copious amounts of alcohol when Roland asks me ‘Are you staying in this guesthouse’

T – ‘Yes’
Roland – ‘What room number’
T – ‘On the 5th floor’
Roland – ‘But what room number’
T, not wanting to divulge this information but not being able to think of anything else to say – 504
T, .5 seconds later when the correct response comes to mind – ‘why do you need to know my room number?’
Roland – ‘Just asking’ then starts asking everyone else about their room numbers to which everyone freely replies.

By 4.30am my eyes were stinging from the cigarettes, and I had a bad taste in my mouth and gut from the Chinese vodka I was drinking. I excused myself from the party, said my good nights, and promised that I would see everyone tomorrow with it being my final day in Chengdu.

In my room I immediately pass out but was awakened by a knocking on my door. Thinking I had left something important, like my passport, in the lounge, I open the door slightly and squint through my sleepy eyes.
Roland – ‘Can I come in?’
T – ‘No’ goes to close the door.
Roland – Puts his hand on the door to push it open ‘have you got someone in there?’
T, loudly – ‘No, I’m sleeping, go away.’ Tries to push the door shut.
Roland, backs off – ‘Im sorry, it’s not what you think, when you left a couple of the guys followed you out and I just wanted to make sure that you were ok’
T – ‘Sure. I’m sleeping. Good night.’ Pushes the door shut and locks it.’

Luckily, Roland really isn’t a bad guy, but it was another lesson about needing to be better at deflecting certain questions. And not opening doors.

Juizhaigou – A fairytale interrupted by an annoying man

Every step, every turn, every shift of the eye in this world heritage listed location had more beauty than I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It was a natural wonderland, filled with the colour and beauty that dreams and movie sets are made off. The scenery was so inspiring that I felt like everyone should be naked and singing and would have happily rolled around in the mud just be a part of something so Godly.

‘Anyone taking a picture with scenery this beautiful is going to look hideous’ I explained to Tom after he showed me the less than favourable picture that he had just taken of me with the amazing colours of Juizhaigou’s lakes and mountains as the background, and I whole heartedly believed this theory, until I took a photo of Tom and Liron with the same background but unlike me they looked perfectly suited to their surroundings.

The day of exploring this amazing region of Jiuzhaigou was going beautifully until we ran into a chinese man who had been on the same bus as me from Chengdu.

Chinese guy – Hyeeeeeeeeee!!Do you remember me??

T – ‘You were on the bus from Chengdu?’

Chinese guy to T and Liron – ‘Can I join you’re group’ (said with gesturing)

T & Liron – ‘sure, no worries’ smiling and friendly.

Within the first hour this guy had innocently asked questions around the details of my trip, which are the usual questions asked when meeting a traveller.

By the second hour he was wanting to know specifics around dates, locations and accommodation, which I thought was a bit intrusive, but thinking he was a curious traveler himself wanting to get ideas on what to do, I reluctantly gave him this information.

By the third hour I had come to the conclusion that I was being badgered, harassed and had somehow become an unwilling participant in this guys travelling itinerary.

Liron, in a quiet moment when it was just the three of us – ‘you need to learn to lie’

T – I know, I should have said I was pregnant.’

Tired, irritated and exhausted after 7 hours of walking and being followed by the unwanted stranger, there was a quick vote and we decided that we were done for the day.

Tom – ‘We should tell him that we’ve decided to leave’

Liron – ‘By we do you mean you?

After hearing the news that we were leaving.

Chines man – ‘I will go to Chengdu to Sims Cozy by the 7th and go to the panda breeding centre’ (exactly where I was going to be)

T – Uses the ‘if I ignore him he’ll go away’ tactic and offers no response or acknowledgement of any kind

Annoying Chinese Man – How will I contact you in Chengdu once I arrive? (After repeatedly trying to fish out MSN, Facebook, and mobile contact details from me)

T snaps – ‘what’s the point? I just met you a couple of hours ago – what makes you think that I want you to follow me?’

Incredibly annoying Chinese guy to T, referring to Tom and Liron – ‘Are you going with them?’

T – ‘YES!’

Fucking annoying Chinese guy – ‘Do you want to have dinner tonight?’

T – ‘NO!!!!’

TIP – A woman traveling alone should never disclose accurate information about her journey to a man she’s just met. And should think about wearing a wedding band.

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